Genetics
by A.Friend410
Summary: Hiccup is at war with himself and cannot deny the fact that he is more like his mother than he would like to believe.


**Genetics **

**Summary: Hiccup is at war with himself and cannot deny the fact that he is more like his mother than he would like to believe.**

He looked out towards the horizon as he sat on one of the towers. He was at war with himself these last couple of weeks and anyone who crossed his path the wrong way got the blunt of his frustrations. The auburn hair teen's foot tapped on the wooden floor, as his calloused fingers would not stay still. His whole body was restless and he knew exactly what would satisfy it, but he refused to believe and accept that it was the case. He slumped forward his elbow resting on his knees the battle still raging in his mind. His face scrunched up in anger as he started to show signs of his frustrations through his dragged out signs and the grinding of his jaw. His nails ran over his scalp as he started to talk to himself, "stop. Just stop thinking like that."

The teen tilted his head up his eyes closed as he spat out, "stop thinking like her." His emerald eyes open to look up at the twinkling stars, his eyes stopping on the one that he believed was her since he was little as he quietly said, "I won't be like you." As the star twinkled shining a little bit more making the teen angry enough to scream, "I'm not like you! You hear me! I refuse to be!" he was not standing yelling at the quiet night sky, "I have everything here now! Friends, a girlfriend, and a father that is finally proud of me, a title! Why do I need to give all that up! For what? An adventure! For a thrill ride! No thanks!" His face was pure red as he tried to calm himself down, "besides look at where that got you; a husband who is heartbroken and a son that hates you."

The star seemed to dim in his eyes and he got some satisfaction from it. "Yeah that's right I hate you. I hate everything you made us go through when you went away. I hate that you put me in the position to take care of dad instead of having a normal childhood like my friends. I hate that you put your own desires above everyone who needed you." The teen's green eyes started to water and soon he felt the tears roll down his freckled cheeks as he told the star, "I needed you mom. I needed you to be there with me when the others kids picked on me made me feel worthless. When dad detached himself from me and did not even treat me like a son. I needed you." His voice was mixed between begging and a whimper, until his anger set back in, "but you left me for your own personal again! Why, why did you do that! Was your own son not important enough for you! Or is it the fact you thought like everyone else and did not want a hiccup for a son? Well I refuse to run because I want a life here. I want to marry Astrid I want- no need to be there for her so I refuse to be anything like you mom!" He began shouting right then, "I don't need an adventure! I do not need to know what is out there like you did! I am nothing like you!" his fist made contact with a wooden beam as he continued to scream his lungs out to a star. Everything stopped though when he heard his name called behind him.

"Hiccup," the blonde hair girl stood there looking at the boy, who was not wiping his cheeks getting rid of any trace that he had been crying earlier.

"A-Astrid, um how long have you been standing there?" he asked as she walked over.

Her blue eyes stared at his green ones as she told him the truth, "long enough to know what has been bothering you these past weeks." She sat down and patted the spot next to her, which he complied with her whims, but sighed while doing so.

He ran a hand through his muddy red hair unable to look at her knowing that she probably thought of him as an insane person. To save face though he wanted to explain himself, "look Astrid I'm sorry you saw me like that I just-"

"Stop," the female warrior cut him off, "you don't need to apologize for how you're feeling Hiccup especially to me." Astrid smiled at him and put a hand on his knee, "besides if you are worried so much by being like your mom then I can tell you, you need to stop because you're nothing like her Hiccup or for your dad on that matter."

"He wanted to smile at her words, but they just got him thinking, "How do you know?"

"Because you're Hiccup, you are your own person and Hiccup," she turned to look directly at him, "its okay to want to see what's out there. To find answers that you're looking for, we all want too."

He sighed knowing that was true, but he could not shake the worry he held, "but what if I ended up doing what my mother did to my dad and me. Astrid I couldn't do that to you it would kill me."

"Hiccup did you just hear yourself?" she questioned him and he gave a confused look making her eyes roll, "what's the last thing you just said?"

Raised eyebrow he confusingly said, "That it will kill me if I left you here."

"Yes that!" the female clapped, "that's why you don't have to worry about leaving me to see what's out there because I know you will come back." He smiled showing his gap in between his teeth towards her. Astrid being the one who never wanted to see the dragon trainer this way again continued to comfort him, "besides Hiccup do you really believe your mother didn't want to be here and that's why she left so many times or is it more likely that she was just like you and she came back so frequently because it killed her from being away from her family, her only son?"

He gawked at her and she left him letting the newfound information sink in. Hiccup watched her leave as he sat at the tower looking back at the stars. What he saw was the same star he believed to be his mother was shining and twinkling even more so and the young teen seemed to feel the pressure of all his worries fade away. He also had a new perspective of his mother now. Before he left to go back home to catch some sleep he quietly said to the heavens, "I'm glad I'm like you mom."

**A/n: Just a little snip on how I would think Hiccup would feel before he decides to go on adventures. Along with how he feels about his mother when she did and when she passed. I don't know why but this kind of hit home for me. Please Review.**


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